In the hallowed halls of "holistic hierarchies" and the elite enclave where execs exalt "elevated efficiencies" without ever elevating effort, this CLUB EBITDA gift card serves as your golden ticket to gifting with gusto – a cheeky charter for the corporate climber who knows that belonging means blending into the blur of buzzword bingo.

It's for the boardroom bard bestowing bounty on the bewildered, turning tokens into a tacit toast to the titans who trumpet "transformational trajectories" while treading water in the tepid pool of platitudes.

Available in digital denominations that deliver delight sans the drama, so you can fund the fun for fellow members muddling through the maze of managerial mysticism. Let it be the pass that pokes at the pretensions, where every spend skewers the superficial with style.