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In the cutthroat arena of cubicle warfare, where your worth is measured in spreadsheets and your soul is sold for quarterly targets, this dad hat is your battle cry: "LIVE OR DIE BY KPI's." Crafted from soft, unstructured cotton that'll survive endless Zoom calls and coffee runs, it's the perfect low-profile lid for the office drone who's secretly plotting their escape—or at least a promotion. Adjustable strap for all head sizes (because not everyone's ego is inflated), and embroidered with that savage truth to remind your boss you're metrics-savvy, not metric-enslaved. Wear it to the water cooler and watch the passive-aggressive nods multiply. Survive the grind, one KPI at a time.
• 100% chino cotton twill
• Green Camo color is 35% chino cotton twill, 65% polyester
• Unstructured, 6-panel, low-profile
• 6 embroidered eyelets
• 3 ⅛” (7.6 cm) crown
• Adjustable strap with antique buckle
• Blank product sourced from Vietnam or Bangladesh
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

• 100% chino cotton twill
• Green Camo color is 35% chino cotton twill, 65% polyester
• Unstructured, 6-panel, low-profile
• 6 embroidered eyelets
• 3 ⅛” (7.6 cm) crown
• Adjustable strap with antique buckle
• Blank product sourced from Vietnam or Bangladesh
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!